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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jesus Fuckin' Loves Me's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
6:59 pm
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
9:15 am
One time, I had what one may call a powerful religious experience.

-What, you!?

Really. I did. I'm not fucking with you. And I'm not fucking with you by saying I'm not fucking with you. But I digest.

It was memorable like Wayne is a douche (for those that don't know Wayne, he's a douche, and I never use the term "douche"). Through old age, the ravages of Alzheimer's, and the unusual craziness that seems to afflict my family members as they get on in years (Alzheimer's?), I will remember this moment. Let me state that it was all in my head; dreamlike...except for the fact that I was awake. Then some stuff happened and it was like a train wreck, gigantic and unstoppable.
It was truly...


...oh. Yeah. It was the shrooms.
Monday, March 26th, 2007
1:10 pm
what's the cost of a few tears?
5:13 PM 3/24/07 · This has bugged me the longest time and each time I hear the reference I still don't get the significance. It may just be a little thing, it may be a big thing...but whatever kinda thing it is it's something that isn't quite registering on me.

"Jesus wept"


The first time I heard this was watching the movie Hellraiser, a condemned soul says it just before being torn to shreds...held aloft by multiple chains in a vaguely crucificial position. Actually, one of my favorite films at the beginning of a great series...but that's not the point. I just heard it again as a half·assed way of saying grace before eating by Ice Cube in some movie, possibly one of the Barbershop films.

If I had to make a guess I'd assume it had something to do with Jesus while he was being executed, that the popular view might be that he didn't shed a tear despite the great pain he was no doubt going through. That's just a guess...

...though I grant it's a guess that's been bouncing around in my head the last couple decades.

I just never thought to ask before.

Well, here we are.

What does the reference "Jesus wept" refer to? If it is, in fact, when he was crucified then why wouldn't he cry? That kinda thing has got to hurt, not to mention that whole dying for all our sins part; I'd imagine that's not only symbolic but given his other impressive abilities it would likely be excessivly painful from an empathic point of view.

Jesus crying...what's the harm?

Current Mood: thirsty
Monday, March 12th, 2007
8:09 am
footsteps on the path
Whatever your spiritual/religious belief system is, when the time comes that you pass from this Existance and go into the Next, how do you think you'll feel when you discover whatever it is you think you know as the Truth turns out not to be?

Current Mood: awake
Thursday, March 1st, 2007
11:41 pm
Let's try putting the books aside...
...seems everytime I ask a question a couple dozen people bonk me on the head with scripture. I've got a very basic question here and I'd just like to have an answer from you.

If I wanted a response from the Bible there's like 3 or 4 of them in this house so I'm sure I could take a peek.

On the topic of whether or not Jesus may've actually had a family of his own, not counting the extended on his human parents no doubt had providing him with siblings, I often find it interesting that people react to the ide of his having a wife and children as more horrific than anything you'd find in a...well...horror movie. I mean, surely Jesus raising his children while doing everything else he did is not that unbelieveable.

The man raised the dead for Pete's sake! He made more food from very little food!! He walked on water!!!!

Surely he could take the time to bounce his own child on his knee and give a hug to the wife.

So...why is it you (Yeah...You!) have a problem with the very concept of Jesus having a family of his own? On Earth while he was doing everything so miraculous...why is such a basic bit of normalcy in his existance such a bad idea?

just to be clear: saying "because it's not in the Bible" or any variation thereof is not a valid answer; I'm already very aware of that fact.

feeling a decided need to interject some sillyCollapse )

Current Mood: exhausted
Monday, February 26th, 2007
11:20 am
Oh you just know this is gonna cause a commotion
10:56 AM 2/26/2007 · When I was but a wee lad, older than 5 but not quite 10, I knew for a fact that Jesus had been married and had children. I would like to point out this was about 3 decades before I'd even heard the name Dan Brown (who is not the only person that's put the idea forth) and I actually had no evidence to support the belief.

Chalk it up to a matter of faith.

I've held to this belief pretty much the whole time since then and there's been a number of things along the way that have actually made me feel more assured in it. One of my incessant rants in some religious comm actually produced one such tidbit that struck home fairly solid and I like it. It involved two things I'd already known but never put together until someone, who shared my view, put them together for me. Back in the day, when women were considered (which is sadly not that great an exaggerration) little more than talking cattle by the masses, it was custom that women were not permitted to see a man unclothed unless they were of his family. Yet, when taken down from his crucifixtion and the body prepared for what comes next...Mary Magdalene (however you spell it) was among those that bathed his body and helped make the preparations.

Basically, that's a stoning and put you to death kinda thing and while Mary was no stranger to attempts at being stoned...it never came up. I think it unlikely this was because Jesus was who he was so much as it never was deemed significant as she was his wife. Given that big families are also part of their tradition...

...lots of little things. It's what I believe and so far the only arguyments I get against it have been that Jesus would not have married her cuz she was a whore (like that'd matter to him as he saw the beauty in all of God's children) or because he wouldn't have been able to to raise a family as he was always on the move and on the road (the Jews wandered around for ages and seemed to have no trouble having and raising children en route to wherever they were going) and that it's not in the Bible (there's a whole mess of reasons I have issue with that one but suffice to say not everything in the world is in that book)...

...and so it goes.

I suppose you're wondering what this had to do with anything? While it is certainly not uncommon for me to put forth one of these rants, I need little incentive to write anything, there was this interesting little thing on the news that caught my eye before I left my home this morning. T'was about 5:45am·ish, was just reaching to turn the television off, when I saw the name "Jesus" in big white letters across the screen and paused.

So glad I waited a bit; bus is usually a little late anyway.

Just outside of Jerusalem, under an apartment complex of all things, archeologists are claiming they've discovered Jesus' tomb. I got the news in brief, was kinda on the go and it was a breaking story so information was a bit sketchy, but artifacts and writing within seem to bear this supposition out but moreso...there are writings that discuss the children Jesus had. There seems to be only two views on this so far, that it is his tomb and that it isn't his tomb...but more are believing it is than those that don't. It's basically being cited, on world news stations, as final exacting proof that Jesus was an actual person.

For those that are Christian and already thought so...you do know there were a number of folks that didn't believe it outside the faith, right?

As you might suspect, I'm all tingly.

This should be an interesting week. All the evidence gathered so far, I heard no mention of a body or bodies along with, and what more is learned on this through the week will be presented on the Discovery channel come Sunday. I don't have a timeslot to give you on this so check your local listings.

11:33 AM · Curiosity got the best of me, looked online for the news about this and the so called "breaking story" is about a discovery that was made in 1980. Still tingling though.

Current Mood: rejuvenated
Sunday, January 28th, 2007
1:36 pm
Ridiculous Religious Question of the Week
8:57 AM 1/28/07 · It kind of started with I am woman, hear me roar but I can never remember what the sound that came after that was. I mean, if it were I am man, hear me roar I'd expect it to be followed by a massive belch. From the 2nd Batman movie it was I am Catwoman, hear me roar and I'm pretty sure that was followed by a "Meow".

It's an empowerment thing.

Bet you're wondering what the Hell does this have to do with religion.

The way I see it Jesus was a pretty empowered guy: son of God, walked on water, raised the dead, great at party tricks; the guy had it going on. So naturally, goofy freak that I am, I had to ask myself...

...what would Jesus say in this kinda circumstance.

Sadly, I'm drawing a blank.

Fortunately I have all of you!

Please fill in the blank:

I am Jesus, hear me roar ________

How would Jesus roar?

Current Mood: silly
Sunday, January 21st, 2007
7:21 pm
Funny Ha Ha
I suspect there are a lot of them out there but I only know a couple. With all the humor that seems to surround Jesus, in the form of standup comedy and stuyff we pick up in school, you'd think there'd be a lot of them. Short of cracking open a joke book and going to the religious humor I can't name that many...

...but as I said, I know two.

Warning: contents may be sacriligiousCollapse )

Do you know any Jesus jokes?

Current Mood: giggly
Saturday, January 20th, 2007
11:27 am
This questions gonna make the rounds...
...just so I can link stuff to here to get the widest range of answers to someone I've been arguing with for about the last 11 hours·ish.

Yesterday I asked a question that had nothing to do with whether or not Jesus literally was God made flesh, though I included it in a preamble to better define the question I actually was asking, when this particular person decided to bypass the question and concentrate on the preamble. There's been a lot of going back and forth on this one issue but the biggest problem I'm having with him is that he insists that anyone who claims to be Christian but does not believe that Jesus was God made flesh, not just the son of, is actually not a Christian.

So, here's the three levelled question for you:
  • Do you believe Jesus was God or not?

  • If you don't believe Jesus was God do you think this automatically means you're not Christian?

  • Why is it you feel you are Christian even though you don't believe this supposedly undeniable fact?

Have fun with it, the connecting post, with all the linkage from the answering places, will be in my journal but not immediately. I know there's those of you that feel as I do, that Jesus/Yeshua wasn't literally God. I'm just trying to show this to de guy in question while showing that holding this opinion doesn't automatically get you booted out of the Church.

Current Mood: peaceful
Monday, January 8th, 2007
10:43 am
a couple other posts of mine inspired this one
9:48 PM 1/7/07 · I'm rather well known for a number of things. There's the fact I tend to ask direct and blatantly raw questions, oftimes none that anyone thought to put forth before. There's also the fact I'm something of a big goofball. Together they aren't a deadly combo but one should be wary nonetheless.

While I don't post every bizarre religious query to every single religious comm I'm a member of...I do post stuff across the board quite a bit. The responses I tend to view as holy wars...not just because I find the sudden outpouring of information to be happy inducing, evn the stuff I don't necessarily agree with, but because of the number of arguments/debates that erupt in the threads of each of these communities. Course, I get a number of people that end their comments with "I'll pray for you" which is nice and all but kinda gives the impression that because I came up with the initial post there's something worrisome or wrong with me.

Not so sure I'm thrilled about that but I'll take what support I can get.

A stretch back I put a list together of a bunch of random thoughts regarding Jesus, one of which was that I kinda hoped he at least knew the pleasure of a woman sometime before his crucifixtion. It was not intended to be sacriligious, nor as an insult to his image in any way...I just thought it would've been nice. It's kind of the beauty of random thoughts.

That whole random element thingamabob.

Last week I put up a post wondering what is it about a rabbi that they can have sex and marry but a priest cannot. The answers were very helpful in that but it brought up an interesting point which kinda reminded me on that little bit from my list. The defining point was that a priest and a rabbi aren't exactly the same thing...that a rabbi is more of a teacher than a religious officiary. Also that it is one of the guiding principles, from the Torah and by extension the Bible, that we should be fruitful and multiply. Hence...rabbis are bit with the multipliying.

You know, there could be a good pun in there for the similarity between rabbi and rabbit seeing as bunnies are all about multiplication.

Now while the people that followed the teachings of Jesus, a hundred or so years after his passing, are Christians he was not. Jesus was Jewish and a simple man...once you get passed that whole Son of God bit. I've never bought into the whole Lord & Savior bit because while I do accept the latter the former is quite askew to me. He wasn't a lord, the man never wanted special treatment and set it aside when it was offered. He was very charismatic and insightful and, above all else, a teacher.




...I say Jesus was a rabbi.

Besides the teaching and other things that go with the title...there's that whole "fruitful & multiply" clause.

There's been a lotta debate since his time to now that Jesus might've had siblings, that Joseph & Mary had other children. Wouldn't it be even more interesting if Jesus himself had children. Be it with the ever controversial Mary Magdelyne or some other nice lady that made that special connection with the guy...I for one find the concept that Jesus may've had his own family and children to be a beautiful thing.

So, why is it that so many seem to find the concept of Jesus going to the happy place (having sex) being a bad thing/sacriligious/an affront to God? I mean he has a wife, they do the deed, there's children...

...what a concept to have the descendents of God wandering around the world to this day.

Current Mood: such a headache
Friday, December 22nd, 2006
11:15 am
Happy Holidays!
In my continued quest to come up with a question that no one can quote scripture at me for...

Let's say, hypothetically, God pops up in front of you and asks for a cookie. What kind would you get?

Obviously there's no wrong answer to this but feel free to explain your response.

Current Mood: silly
Thursday, November 16th, 2006
2:53 pm
I've had this thought before
What brought it up this time was a discussion with someone and he seemed kinda down on Jesus, saying that the man only preached himself and how he was the son of God and any number of other things that were all fairly self promoting. My take was that we only have the Bible's say on what Jesus did or did not say. The people that bound the Bible could've taken a little artistic license or just omitted whole bits of what the man actually said and what we've got are scattered bits out of context.

I mean really: there's not a body on this earth that can attest to having heard anything Jesus said firsthand.

This got me to thinking though. Jesus had a whole bunch of followers (disciples) and they all wrote down things that're in the Bible. Now given that Jesus was reading at an early age and reinterpreting scripture to boot...it stands to reason the guy could write.

Why is there no Book of Jesus? Everybody else has got a Book, segment in the Bible that a body can hardly ask a religious question without others quoting a passage to them from. Did Jesus write one and it got lost or did he simply not write anything at all?

Anybody know anything on this? Or have I just wandered a bit too far into my happy place?

Current Mood: weird
9:10 am
Why Jesus for God's sake?
12:05 PM 11/12/06 · It's so interesting how the littlest thing can cause conflict. Christianity is, more or less, Judaism with just the tiniest difference in opinion regarding who the Messiah is. I've even heard it said that there are those that think the fact that the heads of the Hebrew faith, back then...not now, were backing the Roman Empire in executing Jesus might also be a fair point of contention.

Let's ignore most of that for just a sec.

The Christians believe that Jesus is the Messiah, sometimes referred to as Jesus H. Christ even though I'm fairly certain that is not the family name that Mary & Joseph ever used, but his own people don't...

...or didn't...

...pick a tense.

So, what I'd like to know is what is it the Hebrew faith, and the Jewish people since it seems even the unfaithful were looking forward to the arrival, thought Jesus was lacking so as to not be the Messiah. Religions, regardless of what form they take, are really big with signs and omens and qualities. It seems likely that there were supposed to be a number of events, qualities in the person, sigils, and God knows what else so that when the Messiah popped up everybody would know.

Only everybody didn't know.

So, that brings us to some interesting questions:
  • Does anyone know how the Messiah was supposed to be known prior to Jesus popping up?

  • How long was Jesus alive before the Messiah tag was attached?

  • When Jesus was established as the Messiah what was it about him that made some of the faithful disbelieve this?

  • On the offchance they make another movie, and you know they will, who do you think should play Jesus?

Okay, maybe not so much that last one.

Not that I necessarily think Jesus was the Messiah...frankly I don't care one way or the other. He was a very great guy who had some very important things to say and that's good enough for me.

Current Mood: crazy
Friday, October 20th, 2006
1:28 pm
Without religion, science is lame...but without science, religion is blind.
-Albert Einstein

In a universe of blind physical forces...some people are going to get hurt, and other people are going to get lucky, and you won't find any rhyme or reason in it, nor any justice. The universe that we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
-Richard Dawkins

The universe, it could be said, exists to celebrate itself and to revel in its own beauty. And if the human race is one facet of of the cosmos growing toward awareness of itself, our purpose must surely be to preserve and perpetuate our world as well as to study it, not to despoil or destroy what has taken so long to produce.
-Gary Kowalski

Einstein, who often wrote at length about the 'Old One', was asked about the existence of God. To him, there were two types of gods. The first god was the personal god, the god who answered prayers, the god of Abraham, Isaac, Moses, the god that parts the waters and preforms miracles. However, this is not the type of god that most scientists necessarily believe in.
Einstein once wrote that he believed in "Spinoza's God who reveals Himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with fates and the actions of human beings." The god of Spinoza and Einstein is the god of harmony, the god of reason and logic. Einstein writes, "I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation...Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body."
I believe that Sigmund Freud, with all his speculations about the dark side of the unconscious mind, came closest to the truth when he said that what gives stability and meaning to our minds is work and love. Work helps to give us a sense of responsibility and purpose, a concrete focus to our labors and dreams. Work not only gives discipline and structure to our lives, it also provides us with a sense of pride, accomplishment, and a framework for fulfillment. And love is an essential ingredient that puts us within the fabric of society. Without love, we are lost, empty, without roots. We become drifters in our own land, unattached to the concerns of others.

-Michio Kaku
Thursday, October 12th, 2006
9:51 am
Monday, October 9th, 2006
10:59 am
God made me goofy
Do you suppose Jesus was a cat person or a dog person?

Why do you feel this way?

Current Mood: curious
Monday, September 25th, 2006
9:22 am
Since nobody's posted lately...
As the stars appear
I know I'll find you staring at the sky
Pointlessly reaching for some light
You hope to guide your sorry way

Your body bleeding
Your body burned
Your body scarred
Around the cinder of your heart

A God of love
A God of care
A God of hope
A God of words
A God as lost as you and blind
To fill your hollow soul again
You seek a God to stand above you
Wrapping healing arms around you
You'll find another God of pain
A God of suffering and tears
Give yourself unto your God
Sacrifice yourself again
Burn your thoughts, erase your will
To Gods of suffering and tears
Tie hallowed bonds around your hands
Kneel before this seat of shame
To Gods as lost
Gods as blind
Gods of suffering and pain

-VNV Nation
Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
10:29 am
definitely an odd question
A friend had a survey/Q&A posted to their journal and it was filled with a host of weird question but it was the 1st one that really caught me eye:

1. You and Jesus go out to dinner. Who pays?

picking up the checkCollapse )

Current Mood: creative
Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
1:44 pm
Fear de evil dat is me!
Somewhere around the end of 2004 and the beginning of 2005 I put up a truly bizarre post. It was a continuation of an "Aliens vs Predator" thing I was doing...where I basically listed a whole bunch of random things for them to fight instead of each other. Like Godzilla, the Gummi Bears, NeoPets, Dragon Ball Z...

...which are about as unfair as you can get.

Somewhere in the initial writing of it I put up Jesus and then swiftly removed it. Not because I felt it violated any religious standard (basically a "no no") but because I felt that deserved a post all its own. It was a lot of fun to make and as I posted it widely the range of answers were very giggle worthy. Sure, some of it was preachy but overall it was a blast.

Think it's that time again.

On the offchance some of you are not familiar with the players here:

Predator: a hunting species with a brutal warriors code. While it is true they have strict rules against fighting the unarmed or those deemed not a threat I think that might be cast aside in order to make a trophy out of a guy that can walk on water, raise the dead, heal the sick with but a touch, and replicate food from next to nothing. Predators might not buy into the whole "Son of God" bit but that other stuff would make him all that more highly prized.

Aliens: a biomechanical hive type creature; (Acheronsis Linguefoda). The species lives on 3 fundamental drives; to kill, to breed, and to survive. Curious life cycle from egg to mobile embryo implanter (facehugger) to embryo to fully grown killing machine. They implant their embryos in living hosts which then explode out of that being's chest. Opinions vary but offspring sometimes take on attributes of that host. No specific intelligence but highly cunning and has molecular acid for blood.

While highly unlikely this one doesn't ring a bell...just in case:

Jesus of Nazareth: to those of the Christian faith this is the Messiah and Son of God. All around nice guy, very wise, likes helping people, a number of miraculous abilities, and he may even have been a carpenter in his own right.

So, the question I put to you is who do you think would win?

Alien vs Jesus: ???
Predator vs Jesus: ???

Depending on responses, I may put up another post in a month's time with the best answers.

Current Mood: silly
Thursday, August 31st, 2006
8:21 am
from whence did the name come?
7:48 PM 8/29/06 · One of the things I like about most of my religious posts, other than the truly wonky nature of the things I go on about, is the responses. They range from the people that want to discuss whatever it is I put forth, those that outright condemn me for it, a few that pray that I will one day be shown the way from on High, and the seemingly holy war that erupts among the commenters when they discover they don't quite see things eye to eye. More than that, as I learned via my previous main account, even though the initial outpouring of comments may go on from days to weeks...sometimes I will be pleasntly surprised by someone who decides to get their 2¢ in as far as a year after the fact.

By the by, to those that hope God will show me the way someday...did you ever stop to consider maybe that already happened? Not saying it did, suspect I'd know it less than anybody else, but it is an interesting thought.

Moving right along...

...preamble seems to be the genetic curse of my family line.

I seem to go on about Jesus quite a bit which mainly stems from the fact I find him to be an endlessly interesting guy. Moreso the fact that nobody seems to get his name right, I only actually use Jesus because otherwise no one would know who I was talking about. From numerous posts and discussions, like I went on about in that first paragraph, the consensus opinion from those as or more learned than I is that his name was Yeshua. The last major Jesus posting I did I actually learned the reason why most folks refer to him by the "J" name...

...in the King James Bible, named for a certain King James who started this particular mess, he decided that Jesus was to be called that so as his name wouldn't be confused with another man in there that is currently listed by the name they both shared.

I've often felt the fact that no one in the Bible has a last name was a miraculously ongoing typo.


Kinda scary.

Went through all of that just to lead up to one question.

Preamble...it's a curse on us all.

Traditionally children are named by their parents and I'm sure there was no exception when little Jesus came kicking and screaming into the world. Only problem is that he had 3 parents: Mary (Mom) & Jospeph (Stepdad) & the Big Guy (Dad)...

...do not covet thy neighbor's wife my ass! I suspect this was where the phrase do as I say and not as I do was invented...

...but I digress.

Whatever that original name might've been...who do you suppose it was that named him?

Current Mood: relaxed
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